he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
