Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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