uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
