Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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