So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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