Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
