She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
