Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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