forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Help. Why am I so naked?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
