I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
