U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
