In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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