He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
