none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize