My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
