I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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