i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
