I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
