She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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