THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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