break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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