I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
