Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
