i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
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just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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