piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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