Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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