my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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