bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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