i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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