dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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