no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
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