i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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