We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize