i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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