now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i need some magic done to my vagina
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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