Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
