Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
