Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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