I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
