He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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