We tried having a conversation with our noses.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I use my feet as sexual weapons
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize