Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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