first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
