Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
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he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
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He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.