I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.