why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.