I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
