the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
