you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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