Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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