So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
