How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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