oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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