Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
