My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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