I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
