He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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