is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
