i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
