How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
try to milk me bitch
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