You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
