check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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