Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
