Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
