I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
