You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
