Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
