How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
